Wednesday 9 May 2012
Wednesday May 9th - Fasting
I must remember not to have any breakfast tomorrow, since I'm fasting for a couple of blood tests. These are largely to check out a couple of symptoms I've been having, so hopefully it will give the doctor the information to set out the appropriate treatment. I really hope this doesn't mean more medication as I've had enough of that over the last year or so.
Work is still very boring and demoralising, and I've never been someone who can just "go home and collect the money". If things don't liven up soon I'm going to have to start looking around as the current lack of activity is corroding my CV as well as my soul. I'm having a bit of a general malaise at present - aside from work, life in the flat is a bit dull and the weather is rubbish. Makes me wish I was back in the USA !
The bright spots in my life are my new relationship and my music. I have to thank rock music for everything really - it has seen me through many tough times and I literally wouldn't be alive today without it. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way - you've only got to think of all the "power of music" songs there are, from Chuck's "Rock and Roll Music" and "Roll Over Beethoven" through Lou Reed's "Rock'n'roll", Argent's "God Gave Rock and Roll To You" etc. etc. So what is it about this great music of ours which has given us so much ?
A clue lies in the work of a group I've been listening to a lot lately, the Flamin' Groovies. They recorded five classic albums in the 70s, from the Stones-y "Flamingo" and "Teenage Head" through to the 60s "beat boom" sounds of their three Sire albums. They play sixties-based music with 70s power and sophistication. But also their latter albums have a sustained atmosphere of melancholy quite unlike the brash optimism of their sixties' reference points. Whereas Lennon's "Please Please Me" was a bold indication of working-class contempt for repressed sexual mores, the Groovies' version is a lament for simple humanity amongst the jaded sexual paranoia of the post-feminist 70s world. Similarly, "You Tore Me Down" - possibly the most beautiful straight pop song ever written - is clearly based upon "She Loves You" but replaces the bubbliness of the former with lines like "Now I'm all alone / You're far away". This emotional honesty, plus the endless riches in the music, makes this music playable over and over again. This is the sort of thing which, in a very real everyday sense, saves souls.
Children being born over the next few years have a great treat coming to them. Their parents are the offspring of sixties' buffs like me, so have retreated back into pre-rock popular music (the X Factor et al) as the only act of rebellion open to them. Their children can in turn rebel via discovering Elvis, The Beatles, The Stones etc. Maybe in 15 years' time there will be another mass outbreak of musical bohemia. Wouldn't that be great ?
Monday 7 May 2012
May 7th - Alone Again Or...
I'm writing this on Mayday Bank Holiday Monday. I still find Bank Holidays difficult - you're supposed to be all jolly and relishing the extra time with your family. But since my divorce I don't have a family, so there I was on Friday afternoon staying late in the office when everyone else had left early, simply because I did not want to go back to the flat on my own.
In some ways this is odd - I have a new relationship now, and enjoy being able to do whatever I want to in the flat. Yet there are times which do seem to shove the lack of family right in my face. So I had to take action on Saturday to buck myself up (Shelagh was working), so went to London for some CD retail therapy. I bought some ace stuff - while I could have got it cheaper on Amazon, it was worth it to have the day trip and the exercise (I never use the Tube in London except if I'm working).
I had a wonerful day yesterday with Shelagh and her friends. Today I'm back in my flat doing jobs and I'm having to fight off the blues again. Living alone really is very, very hard - you have to constantly keep busy as the melancholy comes in as soon as you relax. Fortunately I have lots of interests in life and am free to pursue them, but the lack of company does become wearing. No doubt I'll go into work tomorrow and everyone will tell me about their family activities. I'll tell them I had a nice quiet weekend and get on with it...
My work is boring the arse off me at present. Due to there being a re-organisation, no-one is making any decisions and (as an Enterprise Architect) I am left in limbo. It really is so soul-destroying going in there and devising ways for getting through the day, especially if other things in your life aren't that great either. It's been four months now since the initial workshop, and I'm sure I'm not the only one finding it hard. Can we have some progress please PRONTO ?!?
What else to write about ? The Cup Final was a damp squib until the last half-hour as Liverpool simply didn't turn up. It is good that Man City won at Newcastle yesterday as yet another Man U premiership title would have been just too depressing. It would be so great to see Chelsea win in Munich - they deserve it after withstanding the behemoth of Barcelona.
Political life in this country simply plunges further downhill. Hardly anyone bothered to vote in the Council elections, and those who did gave the Lib Dems a good kicking. This is a bit unfair - while they have turned tail over Tuition Fees, the Labour Party would not have done any different. People in this country have totally lost the concept of education as a good thing in itself for a country to invest in, so they see it as something you do to get a higher-paid job. They therefore see nothing wrong in the idea of saddling young people with thousands of pounds of debt, thinking they'll all be able to pay it back out of the high salaries they'll be earning. The mythology of this can be seen in the graduate unemployment figures.
The UK today is morally bankrupt, and understandably no-one cares about the vapid politicians who lead our parties. In my view it is vitally important to cling to the ethics which sit somewhere in the roots of our political parties, vote acordingly, and try and influence things for the better. Things to make a stand on :-
1. The NHS - the single greatest achievement in British political history. It is being pulled to pieces and both Labour and Tory governments have contributed to this.
2. Education - our brightest children are being alienated via a rigid, targets-driven, and under-resourced state system. If our country is meant to be based on christian values it is a scandal that well-off people can buy their children such an advantage in life. Public schools must be banned and their resources pulled back into the State system.
3. The family - both parties have done much to damage relationships and family life over the last few decades. Job insecurity has broken up the extended family and local communities. The tax system heavily penalises a "single breadwinner" family, forcing parents to offload their young children. Divorce can be obtained whenever one party is "unhappy", and family lawyers cynically exploit emotionally-vulnerable people for personal gain. People who choose not to marry are not protected when their relationships break down. There somehow needs to be a totally objective review of how relationships and parenting can best be supported in this country, free of "politically-correct" agendas and religious bigotry.
4. The economy - the current crisis makes it clear that the free-market dream is over. Capitalism simply does not meet the needs of the majority of people on this planet. A better way must be found. This needs to happen on a global basis to stop rich people moving their money abroad, evading taxes etc.
5. Defence - why oh why are we wasting so much money sending soldiers abroad ? And why haven't we negotiated a proper settlement with the Argentinians over the Falklands ? Let's stop pretending that we are a military power and re-direct our money where it is better needed.
I am a passionate socialist and have voted Labour all my life, yet I am completely and utterly disgusted by what "New Labour" did and struggle to see them getting back on track. The Trade Unions are also being stupid right now, which doesn't help. I do believe that introducing Proportional Representation is the way forward and would have considered voting Lib Dem to this end, but they have totally sold out to the Tories.
So what to do ?
The Tories are morally repugnant. No-one with a conscience can vote for them.
The Lib-Dems have sold out.
The "minority" parties have no voice under the current electoral system.
I think I shall stick with Labour. They did, after all, set up the NHS, the greatest single thing any political party has ever done. Hopefully they can find in their ranks a genuine leader of heart, soul, and vision to bring some ethics and idealism back into this jaded, cynical old country.
In some ways this is odd - I have a new relationship now, and enjoy being able to do whatever I want to in the flat. Yet there are times which do seem to shove the lack of family right in my face. So I had to take action on Saturday to buck myself up (Shelagh was working), so went to London for some CD retail therapy. I bought some ace stuff - while I could have got it cheaper on Amazon, it was worth it to have the day trip and the exercise (I never use the Tube in London except if I'm working).
I had a wonerful day yesterday with Shelagh and her friends. Today I'm back in my flat doing jobs and I'm having to fight off the blues again. Living alone really is very, very hard - you have to constantly keep busy as the melancholy comes in as soon as you relax. Fortunately I have lots of interests in life and am free to pursue them, but the lack of company does become wearing. No doubt I'll go into work tomorrow and everyone will tell me about their family activities. I'll tell them I had a nice quiet weekend and get on with it...
My work is boring the arse off me at present. Due to there being a re-organisation, no-one is making any decisions and (as an Enterprise Architect) I am left in limbo. It really is so soul-destroying going in there and devising ways for getting through the day, especially if other things in your life aren't that great either. It's been four months now since the initial workshop, and I'm sure I'm not the only one finding it hard. Can we have some progress please PRONTO ?!?
What else to write about ? The Cup Final was a damp squib until the last half-hour as Liverpool simply didn't turn up. It is good that Man City won at Newcastle yesterday as yet another Man U premiership title would have been just too depressing. It would be so great to see Chelsea win in Munich - they deserve it after withstanding the behemoth of Barcelona.
Political life in this country simply plunges further downhill. Hardly anyone bothered to vote in the Council elections, and those who did gave the Lib Dems a good kicking. This is a bit unfair - while they have turned tail over Tuition Fees, the Labour Party would not have done any different. People in this country have totally lost the concept of education as a good thing in itself for a country to invest in, so they see it as something you do to get a higher-paid job. They therefore see nothing wrong in the idea of saddling young people with thousands of pounds of debt, thinking they'll all be able to pay it back out of the high salaries they'll be earning. The mythology of this can be seen in the graduate unemployment figures.
The UK today is morally bankrupt, and understandably no-one cares about the vapid politicians who lead our parties. In my view it is vitally important to cling to the ethics which sit somewhere in the roots of our political parties, vote acordingly, and try and influence things for the better. Things to make a stand on :-
1. The NHS - the single greatest achievement in British political history. It is being pulled to pieces and both Labour and Tory governments have contributed to this.
2. Education - our brightest children are being alienated via a rigid, targets-driven, and under-resourced state system. If our country is meant to be based on christian values it is a scandal that well-off people can buy their children such an advantage in life. Public schools must be banned and their resources pulled back into the State system.
3. The family - both parties have done much to damage relationships and family life over the last few decades. Job insecurity has broken up the extended family and local communities. The tax system heavily penalises a "single breadwinner" family, forcing parents to offload their young children. Divorce can be obtained whenever one party is "unhappy", and family lawyers cynically exploit emotionally-vulnerable people for personal gain. People who choose not to marry are not protected when their relationships break down. There somehow needs to be a totally objective review of how relationships and parenting can best be supported in this country, free of "politically-correct" agendas and religious bigotry.
4. The economy - the current crisis makes it clear that the free-market dream is over. Capitalism simply does not meet the needs of the majority of people on this planet. A better way must be found. This needs to happen on a global basis to stop rich people moving their money abroad, evading taxes etc.
5. Defence - why oh why are we wasting so much money sending soldiers abroad ? And why haven't we negotiated a proper settlement with the Argentinians over the Falklands ? Let's stop pretending that we are a military power and re-direct our money where it is better needed.
I am a passionate socialist and have voted Labour all my life, yet I am completely and utterly disgusted by what "New Labour" did and struggle to see them getting back on track. The Trade Unions are also being stupid right now, which doesn't help. I do believe that introducing Proportional Representation is the way forward and would have considered voting Lib Dem to this end, but they have totally sold out to the Tories.
So what to do ?
The Tories are morally repugnant. No-one with a conscience can vote for them.
The Lib-Dems have sold out.
The "minority" parties have no voice under the current electoral system.
I think I shall stick with Labour. They did, after all, set up the NHS, the greatest single thing any political party has ever done. Hopefully they can find in their ranks a genuine leader of heart, soul, and vision to bring some ethics and idealism back into this jaded, cynical old country.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)